Tuesday 5 June 2012

Phhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (a large exhalation of air!)

We have had a trying day today. Smallest was off with me. He had a mini tantrum and made me cry (I'm a bit hormonal!), when he saw me crying, he instantly stopped and came and cuddled me. He watched Small on the computer and then when Small went to school he played on the computer by himself.

We had a major tidy and clean up of his room. Now when we cleared Small's room and he decided which books he didn't want, we just passed them down to Smallest. But now Smallest has decided there are lots of books he doesn't want anymore, where do they go? Some are so sentimental that I can't bear to give them away. Some were mine when I was a Smallest! I have boxed them up and put them in the loft and told Smallest they are for his children. Can you imagine!

We had some serious colouring in time and then after lunch I decided we were going to do a quick shop. Smallest wasn't happy and refused to get in the car. He shouted, I shouted and then I got in the car and drove to the end of the drive (not that far but I wondered if it would just make him get in! It didn't, so I sat there checking my emails and listening to the radio). In the end he just opened the gate and climbed into the car, not saying anything! He was good in the shop, helping me to push the trolley, helping to find things. laughing, joking, having fun. Then we drove to another shop and he was fine there too. When we got home he refused to get out of the car. So I left him in while I put the shopping away. He kept honking the car horn and my next door neighbour was in the garden with his family so I had to get him out in the end.

He went off on his own for a while and came back and cuddled me. We talked about why he was getting angry. He didn't know. We talked about things we could do to help when we are angry. He seemed to be taking it all in. He was very sorry.

We played some games, we played football, we waited for Small to come home. We all played a card game and then their friend from a few doors down came round with his Grandma to see if the boys wanted to play there. (his grandma was looking after them!) I had a good chat with the Grandma and let them go. I made dinner and chopped down a few cedar trees while they were gone. There is a hedge of Cedars one side and It is very very very tall and is blocking the satellite dish so it needs to be sorted. We have some tree loppers (I think that's what they are called) so I have been trying to take what I can off.

I went to fetch them later, the Grandma said it was a pleasure meeting them and they were very good. We started to walk home and Small and I noticed Smallest wasn't with us. We shouted him but he didn't come. I went to go and find him and he said he wasn't coming and he was going to shoot me with a water pistol. I told him not to, he did, I took the gun away from him and told him he needed to come home as his dinner was waiting! He refused so I dragged him along the path, with him shouting at me and kicking me. He lost his shoe half way along and I didn't notice so Small went back and got it. Although we are in a nice little Hamlet, the road can be busy sometimes and fast (especially when people are charging to the beer store before it closes) so I didn't want to leave him on the path alone in case a car came too close or he ran out!

I put him inside and he punched, pinched, kicked, scratched me and made me cry (more through frustration than being hurt, although he does pack a good punch). He punched Small and made him cry. Small and I were cuddling and Smallest ended up going to his room. When he came down he put his arms out to be cuddled and I said "what about a sorry" and it all started again. Ranting, raving, kicking shouting. He went off to his room again. Poor Huffle came home to me and Small in tears downstairs and Smallest in tears upstairs.

He had had a good day until he came home - sorry Huffle. He was cuddling us downstairs when Smallest came down, saw us all together and went to punch me again. Huffle picked him up screaming and dragged him upstairs to his room. They were there for a while, he calmed him down and tried to talk to him. He came down and had his dinner eventually but it took him about an hour to say sorry and cuddle me. We talked again about getting angry and how we can deal with it. Again he seemed to be listening. I talked to him about being at school and how he gets told what to do there but he doesn't shout or punch his teacher. He said he wasn't allowed to else he would have to go to the office! Right, I need an office where I can send him to when he gets out of control! Huffle has moved the punch bag into the basement where the kids play so hopefully Smallest can hit that instead of me!

He is at school tomorrow. Thank god! I really don't know how to control him.

Small fell at school today whilst playing football. He hurt his head and neck. The teacher gave him a good checking over and wrote me a note. He says it hurts still a bit but not too bad. I think he may have pulled it or twisted it.

We have storms forecast for tomorrow.

Also found flies in the basement today, not a great amount, but we are wondering if something has died down there! Euuugh. That needs looking into to!

Huffle and I went for a YES run (this is where we walk around the garden saying 'yes that looks good, yes that's flowering, yes that needs work!').
as we walked past the Lilac tree the smell was amazing. The lilacs don't last long here but while they are out, they are spectacular

I have a long list of things to get to make various things work in the garden. Things to make the hose pipes work, stuff to mend the water butts, stakes for veggie garden and stakes for dry hedge. Need to cut the grass too, it is getting long again.


Small has finished his EQAO - his words "Yaaaaahooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo". Well Done Small





3 comments:

Unknown said...

My heart goes out to you, wish we could help, perhaps u should see that lady you met re smallest soon. From far away I wonder if it anything to do with relocating and all the changes, wondered if I should say but you open your heart to us so I think we should do the same. Will get hb to Skype later to chat to everyone, she is hard Revising as all 3 a levels r mon tues wed next week, great scheduling exam board! Hv a rest day coffee and get the book out. Xx

famfa said...

I wish you could help too. This morning he was all sweetness again. Glad he's at school though. Off for a long forest walk now. Maybe speak later. Hb - Keep up The good work revising cx

Brenda B said...

Poor little tyke, what on earth is causing this behaviour! And poor you, taking the brunt of it. There's a lot of truth to what Aunt Pear says but life is full of changes so I hope you're not blaming yourselves for making big changes in his life. That lady you spoke to at the party sounds like a good lead, I wouldn't leave it too long if I were you. Hopefully you can get it sorted out soon.

Hugs
Brenda